I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Pooping to opera.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
