So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
