...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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