I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
