Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I cockslap morals
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
