"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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