he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
