Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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