I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
