i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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