I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
