he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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