I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Is Oprah even human
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
