Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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