just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
