Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
