And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
