I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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