Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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