he thought i was a dude.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
