he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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