Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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