I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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