This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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