Don't you send me to vm
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
