is wine microwaveable?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
