The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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