ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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