that's an acceptable place to lick
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize