Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize