The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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