The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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