my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize