Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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