She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
