i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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