Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
