the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
