She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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