I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Too much gin, very little bucket
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize