I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
