why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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