I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
