I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We named our party play list daddy issues
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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