Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
