These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
