I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
