I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
