My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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