you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
