bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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