People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
time to smoke my breakfast
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
