Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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