Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize