I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
