Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm getting married
To pizza
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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